1001 Errors in the Christian Bible
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Acts -- Errors 650-656
#650
Acts 1 (KJV)
1 “The former treatise have I made, O Theophilus, of all that
Jesus began both to do and teach,
2 Until the day in which he was taken up, after that he through the Holy
Ghost had given commandments unto the apostles whom he had chosen:
3 To whom also he shewed himself alive after his passion by many infallible
proofs, being seen of them forty days, and speaking of the things pertaining
to the kingdom of God:
4 And, being assembled together with them, commanded them that they should
not depart from Jerusalem, but wait for the promise of the Father, which,
saith he, ye have heard of me.
5 For John truly baptized with water; but ye shall be baptized with the
Holy Ghost not many days hence.”
Compare to:
John 20 (KJV)
17 “Jesus saith unto her, Touch me not; for I am not yet ascended
to my Father: but go to my brethren, and say unto them, I ascend unto
my Father, and your Father; and to my God, and your God.
18 Mary Magdalene came and told the disciples that she had seen the LORD,
and that he had spoken these things unto her.
19 Then the same day at evening, being the first day of the week, when
the doors were shut where the disciples were assembled for fear of the
Jews, came Jesus and stood in the midst, and saith unto them, Peace be
unto you.
20 And when he had so said, he shewed unto them his hands and his side.
Then were the disciples glad, when they saw the LORD.
21 Then said Jesus to them again, Peace be unto you: as my Father hath
sent me, even so send I you.”
22 And when he had said this, he breathed on them, and saith unto them,
Receive ye the Holy Ghost:
According to Acts Jesus did not give the Apostles the “holy spirit”
here but said the Father would give the Apostles the “holy spirit”
after Jesus departed for Parts Unknown. “John” couldn’t
wait this long and had his Jesus give the Apostles the “holy spirit”
himself while he was here and not there.
# 651
Acts 1 (KJV)
18 “Now this man purchased a field with the reward of iniquity;
and falling headlong, he burst asunder in the midst, and all his bowels
gushed out.”
Compare to Matthew 27: (KJV)
5 “And he cast down the pieces of silver in the temple, and departed,
and went and hanged himself.”
Acts says that Judas purchased a field with the reward of iniquity while
“Matthew” says Judas gave the money to the Temple. Doesn’t
sound like the author of Luke/Acts used “Matthew” as a source
here. “Mark”, representing a more primitive Christian theology,
has no demise of Judas (Jews) story and if “Luke” copied “Mark”
“Luke” would be free to add this anti-Jewish touch. Lukee! Ya
got sum splainin ta do.
# 652
Acts 1 (KJV)
18 “Now this man purchased a field with the reward of iniquity;
and falling headlong, he burst asunder in the midst, and all his bowels
gushed out.”
Compare to Matthew 27: (KJV)
5 “And he cast down the pieces of silver in the temple, and departed,
and went and hanged himself.”
According to Acts Judas died from spontaneous comburstion while according
to “Matthew” Judas died from hanging. Apparently, the author
of Acts, writing later, decided that hanging was too good for her Judas.
# 653
Acts 1 (KJV)
18 “Now this man purchased a field with the reward of iniquity;
and falling headlong, he burst asunder in the midst, and all his bowels
gushed out.
19 And it was known unto all the dwellers at Jerusalem; insomuch as that
field is called in their proper tongue, Aceldama, that is to say, The
field of blood.”
No one in Jerusalem had any idea where the hell this supposed “field
of blood” existed outside of the imagination of “Luke”
until a fourth century pilgrim chose where it was. If this “field
of blood” is fiction then it’s logical that it’s “location”
could only be identified by the imagination of a pilgrim not from the
area as opposed to the real memories of the historical inhabitants.
# 654
Acts 1 (KJV)
18 “Now this man purchased a field with the reward of iniquity;
and falling headlong, he burst asunder in the midst, and all his bowels
gushed out.
19 And it was known unto all the dwellers at Jerusalem; insomuch as that
field is called in their proper tongue, Aceldama, that is to say, The
field of blood.
20 For it is written in the book of Psalms, Let his habitation be desolate,
and let no man dwell therein: and his bishoprick let another take.”
The closest you can find is:
Psalms 69: (JPS)
26 “Let their encampment be desolate; let none dwell in their
tents.”
The context of the Psalm is totally different and even the quantity doesn’t
agree. In Christian theology this is known as X-uh-Jesus, also known as
LYING.
# 655
Acts 2 (KJV)
16 “But this is that which was spoken by the prophet Joel;
17 And it shall come to pass in the last days, saith God, I will pour
out of my Spirit upon all flesh: and your sons and your daughters shall
prophesy, and your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall
dream dreams:”
Not only did Joel never say this it doesn’t even agree with the tongues
talking preceding it. As Madlein Kahn said in the classic “Young
Frankenstein”, “No tongue.” The original stories regarding
the early Christian proselytizers likely used the literary license of
describing them as speaking in tongues merely to poetically portray them
as being able to communicate effectively in the foreign languages of the
converts. Subsequent Christianity took it literally that they had received
a gift from God that really let them speak a foreign language without
first studying it. Ironically, in the process of using the foreign language
of Greek to convert the non-Jews the apostles appear to have forgotten
their native Aramaic/Hebrew in the process as we have absolutely nothing
from any apostle/disciple written in Aramaic/Hebrew, not even Jesus name
for Moses’ sake. As they say, the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh
away.
# 656
Acts 2 (KJV)
16 “But this is that which was spoken by the prophet Joel;
17 And it shall come to pass in the last days, saith God, I will pour
out of my Spirit upon all flesh: and your sons and your daughters shall
prophesy, and your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall
dream dreams:”
After 2,000 years I think it’s safe to say this is another false
prophecy. Christianity has failed to deliver the after-life it promised
as well as end the natural life it promised to stop. Could be a relationship
there.